In the Waiting.
Being in the middle of waiting for something is so hard. Sometimes we are waiting for answers, for connections, for healing, for relief, we wait for so many things. It is easy to focus so much on the things that we don’t have and forget to pay attention to what we do have, what is around us already. It is painful to not have something that you desperately want and it is also painful to have something that you would do anything to not have. The grief of unfulfilled desires is so heavy.
I think that it is important to acknowledge those pieces of heartbreak. I don’t think that we have to ignore that they exist, ignoring them can be disingenuous, it can be dismissive, and it can lead to more pain. However, we don’t have to create our entire identity around that grief. We don’t have to consider this moment in time our end all be all. We can acknowledge the pain AND take an inventory of what we do have, who we have around us, what we can do, and take the next best step towards something more, something else, something greater than ourselves.
We CAN make “waiting” be more of an action word rather than this idea that we have to set our desires on a shelf for someone else to come along and pick up for us or to make happen. We can do some of the picking ourselves. What we do in the waiting matters.
This is not to say that we are able to control the outcomes of our lives in all aspects. There are absolutely things beyond our control. But it is to say that we do have more options than we often give ourselves credit for. While we wait, we can get creative on how we spend our time.
Some ideas to get your juices going: learn a language, send someone a letter, bake something from scratch, learn a new hobby, visit a friend, get to know your neighbors, attend church or a Bible study, read a book/series, volunteer somewhere, set a physical ability goal, engage in some creative or crafty activity, get outside, study trivia….
Consider what you enjoy, what excites you, what interests you and then look into ways to incorporate more of that into your life. If wellness is important to you, then take some time to determine what wellness means to you and how you can become more “well”. If community is important to you, then find someone to reach out to and be a “villager” for, send them notes when you think of them, ask them if they need something, invite them on a walk or for dinner, take an interest in getting to know them, volunteer at a local nursing home or food bank, show up for people. If learning excites you then work towards being able to have a conversation with a Spanish speaking person, learn how to make kombucha, figure out how to change the oil in your vehicle, knit a scarf, memorize all the state capitals, study the benefits of turmeric, or whatever else you fancy. This world is full of opportunities to engage with it.
Going for a walk in the woods can be a healing moment for the woman with broken dreams. Engaging in conversation with someone in a nursing home can be fulfilling for the man experiencing disappointment. The woods does not judge you if you come to it without all the answers. Those living with physical restrictions and limited social connections do not need you to be conventionally successful or at the top of your game to have a conversation with you. There are so many places in this world where we are welcome and wanted, and we don’t even realize it because we are so focused on something else.
So, you can notice your grief and heartache, you can lament it, you can even carry it with you but remember that you can grieve something AND pursue something else. What you choose to do in the waiting matters, and it can make all the difference in how lonely, how long, how painful some of that waiting can feel.
Joshua 3:8 says that God told Moses to tell the Israelites, “When you reach the banks of the Jordan River, take a few steps into the river and stop there”. The river was “overflowing its banks” because it was the harvest season, but “as soon as the feet of the priests who were carrying the Ark touched the water at the river’s edge, the water above that point began backing up a great distance away at a town called Adam, which is near Zarethan. And the water below that point flowed on to the Dead Sea until the riverbed was dry. Then all the people crossed over near the town of Jericho” (continuing in Joshua, chapter 3). In this chapter we read that God did not dry up the riverbed until AFTER the priests walked in the water. The waters did not part, until their feet got wet. They had to ACT first, not just wait for God to move.
We do not always know what we should do, but if we take the next best step, we do the next right thing, to the best of our abilities, and in pursuit of God, he will meet us there. I don’t know that that next step is for you, friend, but I do believe that there is a next step for you. I do not believe you are meant to sit in passive waiting for life or death to meet you.
What we do in the waiting matters.
Lord, please show us how to wait well.
“For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end, it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it, it will surely come; it will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3
“… but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
“I will restore to you the years that the locusts have eaten.” -Joel 2:25
Amen.
